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If You Really Must Go To Times Square On NYE, Here’s How To Survive

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Standing among the masses for the age old tradition of watching the ball drop is hard. They tell you to get there early, but even that doesn’t do the experience justice. It’s going to be one of the most difficult days of your life no matter how you cut it, but here are a few ways to make it a little easier.

Firstly, be aware that you’ll be standing in one place for many, many hours. There are NO port-o-potties, NO street vendors, and NO saving your spot. Sound awful? It is. Especially if you show up early, which you have to do in order to land a prime location. To make the situation easier you must do four things:

a) Wear depend underwear – not kidding. You can’t urinate for close to 12 hours, so this is your only option.

b) Eat a huge breakfast – you can’t go anywhere once you’re in Times Square. This means no sneaking out to grab food from your favorite restaurant.

c) Bring lots of snacks on your person – large bags aren’t allowed, so you must come prepared with lots of little goodies to take care of your appetite.

d) Bring water – we’re not talking about a water bottle full of vodka. You need to stay hydrated and keep your body as healthy as possible.

These four steps will go a long way to keeping you safe and alive for a New Years Eve in Times Square. They are in no way fool proof, and you’ll still be suffering quite a bit. As far as the depends are concerned, absorbency levels vary. Since you’ll be wearing them for so many hours do some research to find the pair that’s most absorbent.

If you’re truly prepared for the night, you’ll not only find it more bearable, but you’ll have a significant leg up on others. This means that when they woefully give up their spots you can jump in and claim it. Little do they know, you’ll be urinating up a storm in your well equipped underwear.

Like with anything, it’s far better to be over-prepared than to be under-prepared. If it turns out you only had to relieve yourself once, you’ll still be glad to have on the special underwear.

This year’s Times Square forecast is set to be cool and windy, leaving spectators shivering and probably rubbing against each other to generate warmth. Maybe wait it out until next year?



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